Rahnavard Zaryob va SHogirdi soatsoz shudam

On solho padaram va modaram taqriban har shabu ruz davo mekar-  dand va saru sado ba roh meandokhtand. Vaqte davoyashon shuru meshud,  ranghoyashon kabud megasht, chehrahoi khashine megiriftand. Bo qahr sari  hamdigar faryod mekashidand va ba yakdigar dashnom medodand. Va har
bor padaram, modaram modaramro tahdid ba kushtan mekard. Modaram  niz har bor dar javobi padaram bo tamaskhur meguft:

– Kadom mushro bikush, kambakht!

Va in jumla hamesha gazabi padaramro duchandon mesokht.bilokhira  hamsoyagon meomadand va padaramro berun meburdand. On vaqt moda-  ram giryaro megirift va muddati daroz megirist.

Mavzui davo hamesha khonae bud, ki dar on zindagi mekardem. Pa-  daram mekhost az in khona baroem, vale modaram du poyashro dar yak muza  karda bud, ki behtar az in khona yoft nameshavad, boyad khaminjo bimonem.  Padaram baroi tark guftani khona daloili ziyode dosht. Masalan yak  ruz dida budam, ki az chapi utoq pusti mor aftoda ast. Az hamin jihat  hamesha dar zimni davo faryod mezad:

– Okhir in mor yake moro khohad kusht!

Va modaram javob medod:

– In shirmor ast. Kasero garaz nadorad, kambakht!

Hamchunon yak shab padaram dar havlii tangu kuchaki mo zani saped-  pushero didi bud, ki dar dam ba buzgolai siyohe badal shuda, az sari  devor ba kucha jasta bud. Az hamin ru shabho goliban ba khob nameraft  va dar bistar gam-gam mekard:

– Dar in khona zindagi nameshavad. Hona nest, duzakh ast…

Ba gayr az inho, utoqhoyamon sakht namnok budand. Devorhoi utoqho  darz doshta budand va ankabutho loyi – loyi darzho lona karda bu-  dand. CHubhoi saqfi utoqho, ki misli angushthoi odamhoi mubtalo  ba bemorii sil zardu norak budand, zeri fishori pohoi gurbahoe,  ki rui bom mejangidand, melarzidand va khok misli boron bar saru  ruyamon merekht. Dar chunin mavoqe modaram ba havli mebaromad va  faryod mezad:

– Pisht! . pisht!…

Ammo gurbaho nameraftand va modaram ba suyashon sang meandokht.  Gurbaho megurekhtand va khoki beshtare bar saru ruyamon merekht. Bori  digar dahani padaram boz meshud:

– YAk ruz okhir in chubhoi khasmonand meshikanad va hamaamonro  mekushand.

Modaram dar javobash meguft:

– Bas kun bobo.be ajal ki murda?

Padaram faryod mezad:

• Ajal saratro khurad!

Boz ham davo shuru meshud va hamsoyaho meomadand. In khonaro  shash sol meshud, ki kiro girifta budem. Vaqte ba on jo raftem, man  khele kuchak budam va hech yodam nest, ki chi chizhoe baroyamon ittifoq  aftoda bud. Tanho in qadar medonam, ki yak barodaram haminjo taval-  lud shuda, bad murda bud.

Baze az ruzho karochii sanginvazne, ki qotire onro mekashid, az  kuchai mo meguzasht. Dar chunin mavoqe misli on ki zaminlarzae rukh  doda boshad, khonai mo ba sakhti takon mekhurd va piyolahoi rui rafi  utoqamon ba sado darmeomadand. Boz ham rangi padaram kabud megasht,  bo shitob ba kucha mebaromad, az dunboli karochi chand gome medavid va  baland-baland ba ronanda fahsh medod. Karochivon bo khunsardi nigohe  ba aqib meandokht. Mekhandid va har bor dar miyoni khanda sado mekard:

• Bakhshish! Bakhshish boshad!

Padaram barafrukhtatar meshud va bo ovozi tahdidomez meguft:

• Ba khudo dafai digar mekushamat!

Karochi nopadid meshud va padaram zeri nigohhoi tamaskhuromezi  mardum dar hole, ki dasthoyashro ba ham memolid, ba khona dokhil meshud  va davoi hamesharo bo modaram shuru mekard.

Avvalho namedonistam, ki charo modaram ba in khona dilbastagi  dorad. vale saranjom daryoftam, ki charo modaram ba in khona tanhoii  u bud. Modaram hech kheshu qavme nadosht va az in bekasi ba sakhti ranj  meburd.

Hamsoyai dasti rosti mo yak attor bud. Modaram bo in zani attor  chunon yakdil va samimi bud, ki taqriban tamomi ruzro bo hamdigar  meguzaronidand. Bo ham suhbathoi gunogun mekardand va baze az avqot,  namedonam baroi chi bejihat du nafari giryaro sar medodand. Agar  modaram namekhost in khonaro tark kunad, illatash on bud, ki namekhost  zani attorro az dast bidihad. Hamesha ba man takid mekard, ki attor-  ro momo va zanashro khola sado kunam, vale man hech khusham nameomad  in attorro, ki marde kar bud, momo khitob kunam. Az in jihat modaram  hamesha ba man meguft:

• Betamiz!

Man misli bachahoi digari kucha zindagii besaru somone doshtam,
sarosari ruzro dar miyoni khok va kasofat ba sar meburdem. Gohe bo  baqiyaho bozi mekardem, gohe zanbur megiriftem va baze avqot ba  justujui bambirak[1] meraftem. In tavr ruzho, haftaho va mohho me-  guzasht.

***

YAk ruz subh padaram ba man guft:

• Tu digar buzurg shudai!

Az sina to nuki poyamro az nazar guzarondam. Mekhostam daryobam, ki  chiguna buzurg shudaam. CHize nayoftam va padaram afzud:

• Digar poyatro az kucha jam mekunam.

Nafahmidam, ki chi tavr poyamro az kucha jam mekunad. Padaram  boz ham guft:

• YAk soatsozro meshinosam. Mebaramat peshi u, ki soatsoziro yod bigiri.

Dilam zavq zad. Baroi in ki dukonhoi soatsoziro dida budam, ki  pur az soathoi gunoguni khurdu buzurg ast. Peshi khudam guftam:

– CHi khub, har ruz metavonam soathoro boz kunam va daruni onhoro  bubinam.

Padaram pursid:

– CHi tavr, khush hasti?

Javob dodam:

– Ho, khush hastam.

Modaram dastu  ruyamro shustu koloi  pokizae pushonidam.  Bad padaram dastamro  girift va raftem. Pa-  daram ba yak dastash ba  kasaash girifta bud va  ba yak dasti digarash  maro az dunbolash me-  kashid. Saraki daro-  zero paymudem va az  chandin bozori muz-

diham[2] guzashtem. Bilokhira ba yak dukoni kuchaki soatsozi rasidem.  Dukoni muhaqqire bud va az pushti shishai on soathoi kuhna va far-  sudae dida meshud. Dar dukon marde choq va kutohqade nishasta bud, ki  pirohan va dundoni zardrange ba tan dosht va kulohi torii safede  ba sarash bud.

Agarchi hanuz avvali subh va havo khele muloim bud, ammo az shaqiqaho  va pushti gardani mardi soatsoz donahoi shaffofi araq ba poyin  melulid. Bo ovoze, ki shabehi kudakoni haftsola bud, bo padaram  ahvolpursi karda. Padaram guft:

– Ovardamash!

Soatsoz bo hamon ovozi kudakona guft:

– Hub kardi, khub kardi.

Bad bo chashmhoi reza-rezaash saropoyamro az nazar guzaronida guft:  – Bachai khube, malum meshavi.

Padaram miqdore bo u suhbat kard va bad ba man guft:

– In Koko Nazar ustodat ast. Fahmidi? Har chi meguyad, hamon tavr  bikun. Digar khudam meyoyam va mebaramat. Padaram raft. Gussai noshi-  nose bar dilam sangin mekard. Ba nazaram omad, ki giriftori hodisai  bade shudaam. Ba nazaram omad, ki chizero az dast dodaam.

Muddate dar sukut guzasht. Soatsoz sargarmi tarmimi yak soati ban-  didasti bud. Man soathoi kuhna va farsudaro az nazar meguzarondam.

Soatsoz araq merekht. Ba nazaram omad, ki zeri kulohi torii u yak  makhzani pinhonii ob vujud dorad va az in makhzani kuchak qatrahoi ob  rui shaqiqaho va pushti gardani soatsoz sarozer meshavad.

Boz ham khomush bud. Rui chavki chubine nishasta budam. CHavkii no-  rohate bud. Badanro meozurd va man paiham rui on jobajo meshudam  va boz ham soathoi kuhnaro az nazar meguzaronidam.

Bilokhira, soatsoz sarashro baland kard, sui man didu bo hamon  ovozi kudakonaash pursid:

– CHi tavr hasti?

Rui chavki jobajo shudam va javob dodam:

– SHukr, khub hastam.

Dubora sarash rui soati bandidasti kham shud va sargarmi korash  gasht. Man ba shaqiqai rostash khira shuda budam va donahoi araqero, ki
az zeri kulohi torii safedash ba poyin melajzidand, meshumurdam.  YAk qatrai shaffof az shaqiqaash sarozer shud. Az rui aloshaihoyash gu-  zasht va raft ba poyin ba rui guluyash. YAk qatrai digar hamin masiri  qatrai avvaliro dunbol kard. Vaqte bo qatrai avvali yakjo shud, raf-  tand poyintar va dar yakhani zeri pirohanash daromadand. YAk qatrai  digar ham poyin lagjid va betaklif raft zeri yakhanash. Ba dunboli  on qatrahoi chorumi va panjumi ham sarozer shudand.

Vaqte dah qatrai tamom zeri yakhani u khazidand, yakhani zardrangash  kam-kam martub shud. Fikr kardam:

• Boyad dastmole medosht, ki araqhoyashro pok kunad. Boyad… Rishtai fikram burida shud. Zero yak qatrai bisyor buzurg rohashro kaj karda  omada bud nazdi yak kunji rosti chashmash va mekhost jilutar biravad  va dokhili chashmash shavad. Fikr kardam:
• Agar ba chashmash biravad norohat meshavad.

Vale qatrai araq misli mutare, ki tilash khalos shavad, nogahon istod.  Digar jilutar naraft. Kame rohat shudam. Bar chavki jobajo gashtam  va boz ham fikr kardam:

• YAk dastmol zarur ast.

Nogahon zaraboni qalbam shadidtar gasht. CHi bad! YAk qatrai digar  bo kamoli surat dar masiri qatrai qabli poyin omad. Agar bo on  avvali yakjo meshud, favran meraftand ba dokhili chashm, ammo vaqte  nazdi yak qatrai qabli rasid, az suratash kosta shud. Bad istod, vale  pas az lahzae ba qatrai avvali nazdiktar shud. Hudoyo, tanho yak angusht  fosila doshtand. Badan fosila boz ham kamtar shud.

Bar shiddati zaraboni qalbam afzuda gasht. YAk bor ba fikram gasht:  – Boyad az yakjo namudani onho jilavgiri kunam.

Vale chigunaimkon dosht az in hodisa jilavgiri kunam. Ba fikram  gasht:

• CHaro khudash mutavajjeh nameshavad?

Natavonistam dar borai javobi in savol biyandesham. Baroi in ki  digar qatrai buzurg khele ba qatrai qabli nazdik shuda bud. Qalbam ba  shiddat mezad va nave iltihob vujudamro faro girifta bud. Qatra  boz ham nazdiktar shud. Beikhtiyor az jo baland shudam.

Soatsoz sarashro bolo kardu bo angushtash har du qatrai araqro  bardosht. Nafasi rohat kashidam va bar joyam nishastam. Soatsoz suyam
did. Nogahon bo ovozi boriki kudakonaash khandaro sar dodu guft:

– Hasta shudi?

Guftam:

– Ne…

Boz ham dar hole, ki mekhandid, sarosari badani choqash az shiddati  khanda takon mekhurd, bo angushtash arzoyashro[3] pok kardu guft:

– Araq misli soat ast.

Ba fikr furu raftam. Mekhostam daryobam, ki chi chizi araq misli  soat ast. Hech shabohate nayoftam. Soatsoz pursid:

– To holo daruni soatro didai?

Javob dodam:

– Ne.to holo nadidaam.

Pas biyo, nazdiktar. Biyo, ki nishonat bidiham.

Raftam nazdik va saramro rui soat kham kardam. CHizi jolibe bud.  Parzahoi zarif va kuchake rui yakdigar qaror doshtand. CHandtoi onho  davri khud mecharkhidand. Digarho beharakat ba nazar meomadand. So-  atsoz, ki ovozi boriki kudakonaash asroromez shuda bud, guft:

– Mebini, khele ajib ast.Man ki taqriban mahvi in jahoni kuchak  va muglaq shuda budam, saramro takon dodam va guftam:

– Ho, ajib ast.

Soatsoz parzai zarifero nishon dod, ki ba chapu rost, ba surati  nimdoirae mecharkhid va guft:

– Inro mebini, misli qalbi most. Vaqte harakat nakunad va biistad  hamai parzahoi digar az harakat meaftand.

Boz ham ovozi boriki kudakonaash khandaro sar dod va dar miyoni  khanda guft:

– Aslan har kadomi mo yak soat hastem. Har vaqt yak parzai mo kharob  shavad, nojur meshavem. Masalan khudi man in parzaam kharob ast. Va  bo dastash chand bor rui sinai chapash navokht:

– Mefahmi, qalbi man kharob ast? Har vaqt in parza az harakat  bimonad, hamai parzahoi digar az harakat meaftand va yak ruz.yak ruz  hatman az harakat memona!

Homush shud va dar andesha raft. Hanuz soat dar dastash bud. Ovozi  khafife az harakati parzaho barmekhost. Man majzubi harakati in
parzaho budam.

Soatsoz orom-orom guft:

– Aslan in jahon monandi yak soat ast va qalbi jahon kadom ast?  Mefahmi kadom ast?

– Ne, namefahmam.

Zavqida guft:

– Boloi sari most. Oftob.oftobro meguyam. Har vaqt az gardish  bimond, in jahon nobud meshavad. Araqashro bo angushtonash pok kard  va afzud:

– Hama chiz misli soat ast.hama chiz…

Bad, soatro nazdiki gusham ovard va guft:

– Mushunavi?

Soat sado mekard: tik, tik, tik va man shigiftizada bo labkhande  javob dodam:

– CHi khub megardad!

CHashmhoi rez-rezaash buzurgtar shuda bud va bo nave hayajon me-  larzid. Bo angushtash chand zarbat rui sinai chapam navokht va guft:

– Dastatro in jo bigzor.bigzor.

Kafi dastam rui qalbam guzoshtam va tapishi qalbamro his kardam.  Soatsoz guft:

– Meshunavi?

Guftam:

– Ho!

Handai piruzmandonaro sar dod:

– Guftam ki misli soat hastem. Hamai mo misli soat hastem. Hamon  tavre, ki soat yak ruz meistad. (Rui sinai chapash chand zarba zad), inam  yak ruz mistad.yak ruz hama chiz…dar miyoni khomushi ba andesha furu  raft. Donahoi araq hamchunon furud meaftod. Ba nazaram omad, ki  on makhzani pinhoni zeri kulohi torish namome nadorad. Holo digar  yakhani perohanash komilan martub shuda bud va ruyash monandi porchai  yakhi, ki dar oftob guzoshta shuda boshad, medurakhshid. Nogahon bo ovozi  kudakonaash qahqahai digarero sar dod:

– Mefahmi.mefahmi?

Handa majolash nadodu man ba nazaram omada hamon tavre, ki zeri  kulohash yak makhzani pinhonii ob ast, dar darunash ham yak makhzan khanda
vujud dorad, ki rishtahoi khanda az in makhzani pinhoni berun mezanad  va az dahanash mebaroyad.

Hamon tavre, ki mekhandid, guft:

– YAk qissa baroyat mekunam.yak qissa.padaram maro hech dust nado-  sht. Har kore, ki mekardam, ba nazarash bad meyomad. Modaram murda  bud va modarandaram padaramro tahrik mekard, ki maro bizanad.  va padaram har ruz maro mezad.yak ruz yak hamsoyai mo omad va az  padaram pursid, ki charo maro mezanad. Padaram javob dod, ki hech  isloh nameshavam. On vaqt hamsoyaamon pursid, ki ba rosti isloh  nameshavam. Padaram guft, ki ba rosti isloh nameshavam va hamsoyai  mo guft: “Hub, in bacha misli yak parzai soat ast. Digar kor namekunad,  dur biyandozash!”

Padaram ham in gapro shunid va yak ruz darvozai kucharo ba ruyam  bast. On vaqt ba in fikr aftodam, ki boyad bidonam chi tavr parzai yak  soat kor mekunad. Raftam peshi yak soatsoz va guftam: “Maro shogird  megiri?» Soatsoz pursid: «Padarat kist?» Javob dodam: “Padaram  murda!” Guft: “Biyo, shogirdi man hasti». Bad shogirdi soatsoz shudam  va donistam, ki chi tavr yak parzai soat kor mekunad.

Soatsoz, ki chehraash az rutubat araq medurakhshid, boz ham bo ovo-  zi kudakonaash khandid. Handaash in bor khele daroz bud va sarosari  badanashro takon medod. Man ba fikri on mazani pinhoni khanda  aftodam. Bad mutavajjehi makhzani obi zeri kulohi torrish shudam  va az khudam pursidam:

– CHi vaqt in makhzanho tamom khohand shud?

Soatsoz hamon tavre, ki mekhandid va chehrai gushtiyash gul andokhta  bud, pursid:

– CHi tavr.az qissaam khushat omad?

Javob dodam:

– Ho, khusham omad.

Biduni on, ki ba javobam tavajjuhe kunad, guft:

– Holo yaqin paydo kardaam, ki on hamsoyai mo rost meguft.

Baroi nakhustin bor az joyash barkhost. Andomi choq va kutohash na-  moyontar shud. YAk soati devoriro girift va boz kard. Dar hole, ki  parzahoi onro yak-yak nishonam medod, guft:

– Mebini.ajib ast..

YAk parzaro ba dastash girift va guft:

• Vaqte in parza kor nakunad, boyad bar on tuf kard va durash an- dokht. In tavr…

Ba rosti ham bar parzai kuchak tuf kard va durash andokht. Bad par-  zai digarero nishonam dod:

• In ham ki kor nakunad, boyad durash andokht.vale in yake kor meku- nad. Boyad nigohash kunem. Parzahoro hamin tavr nishon doda meraft.  YAk bor nogahon sukut kard va ba andesha furu raft. Ba parzahoi soati  devori khomushona khira shuda bud. Bad bori digar ba khana daromad.  Pushtashro sui man kard – misli in ki mekhost khandaashro nabinam –  nogahon andake khamida va pushti gardanipurcharbiyash ba shiddat takon  mekhurd.

Vaqte ruyashro gashtond, chehrai ajib va tarsangeze girifta bud. Digar  chashmhoyash tang-tang nabudand. Omoda va kushoda shuda budand. CHehrai
gulandokhta va martub az araqash dar nure, ki az pushti shishahoi dukon  meomad, durakhshishi khose dosht. Digar namekhandid. Tanho labkhandi  tamaskhuromez va tarsnoke kanorahoi dahanashro sui poyin kashida  bud. Dar in hol guft:

– YAk ruz merasad, ki digar parzaho hama az kor meyaftand. On vaqt  chi boyad kard, medoni chi boyad kard?

Obi dahonamro furu burdam. CHize naguftam va tanho saramro takon  dodam.

Soatsoz guft:

– Man baroyat meguyam.on vaqt boyad soatro dur andokht, hama chiz  hamin tavr ast. Ruze faro merasad, ki parzaho hama bekora meshavand.  On vaqt boyad on chizro dur andokht. CHorae nest.

Va boz ham ba khanda daromad. Bad rui qalbashro bo angusht zad va  guft:

– In parza khele muhim ast!

Dar dahanash chize misli yak choqu bud. Dar hole, ki on shii[4]  choqumonandro takon medod, guft:

– Mo misli soat hastem.

Sui parzahoi soati devori ishora kard:

– Misli hamin soat..

YAk qadam ba sui man bardosht. Ba sakhti tarsida budam.

Soatsoz boz guft:

– Mo az parzaho sokhta shudaem. Vaqte parzae kharob shavad, boyad  durash andokht.

Sipas tavre sui man nigarist, ki angor mekhost biguyad: “On parzahoi  badani tu kharob nashudaand?”

YAk qadami digar bardosht:

– Mo misli soat hastem.

Ba nazaram omad, ki mekhost maro ham misli on soati devori boz  kunad. Tarsi bekarone dar raghoyam david. Tamomi qudratamro dar  pohoyam jam kardam va ba sui dari dukon davidam. YAk oyina shikast.  Man khudamro berun andokhtam va gurekhtam.

Vaqte khub dur shudam, ruyamro gashtondam va didam, ki soatsoz daha-  ni dukonash istoda ast, shii choqumonand dar dast dorad va bo shiddat
mekhandad. Dar in khol ba nazaram omad, ki meguyad:

• Mo misli soat hastem…misli soat…

Bo ishkol rohi khonaaamonro paydo kardam. Vaqte nazdiki khona  rasidam, didam, ki mardum dahani darvozai mo gird omadaand. Bo  shitob ba havli raftam. Malum shud, ki chubhoi saqfi utoqi mo poyin  aftodaand. Hamsoyaho khudoro shukr mekardand, ki ba kase sadama na-  rasida ast. Padaram golmagol mekard va ba modaram dashnom medod.  Modaram meguft:

• CHi parvo dorad. CHubi nav meyandozem.

Man baroi nakhustin bor az aloqai modaram ba in khona khashmgin shu-  dam. Dar miyoni sukhani padaram davidam va beikhtiyor faryod kashidam:

• In khona misli yak soat ast. Digar hama parzahoi on az kor afto- daand. Boyad bar on tuf kard va dur andokhtash!

Va ba sui devori utoqamon tuf kardam.

Padaram bo nigohi tahsinomeze ba suyam nigarist va modaram ba  girya daromad. Ba nazaram omad, ki az modaram dur andokhtani in soat  sakht gussa mekhurad. Baroi tasallii u guftam:

• CHorae nest. Boyad durash andokht!

Dar in hol his kardam chize az shaqiqahoyam poyin melagjad.

Dastaro bar shaqiqahoyam kashidam – donakhoi araq budand – ba fikri  makhzani pinhoni obi zeri kulohi torii soatsoz aftodam. Nogahon  qahqahae dar dilam jushid va az dahanam berun joi dure raftem. Digar  soatsozro nadidam va shogirdii man hamon yak soat bud, ammo solhoi  pas az on ba dustonam meguftam:

• Mo misli soat hastem.medoned, misli soat?

Bargardoni: Qurbonzoda NASIMBEK

[1] Bambirak-sanjoqak

[2] Muzdiham-izdihom

[3] Arzo – arz, pahno

[4] SHi-chiz